So this guy filled with blood, right? This caused his veins to protrude and him to bleed strongly when he cut his wrists with razors later that night- because of his struggle with depression and substance abuse.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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The cream, it is coming

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Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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an islamic man with a strange bag walk into thr airport. he is probably heading toward his flight like any other person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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