Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

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Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

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Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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Knock knock. "Whose there?" "Dave" Oh alright Dave, two seconds I have got to unlock the door~looks for and finds keys and unlocks door~ Hello Dave, sorry mate not been out yet so not been out, come in.........

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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2 guys at a funeral. "did you know the girl?" asks one of the guys. "No" replies the other. "Me neither."

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knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

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Why was Joe afraid of Steve? Because Steve raped and killed all of Joe's three children two weeks ago.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops