At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What did my uncle get for Christmas? Me... MagicMonkey

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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wanna hear a joke? i dont like kids wanna hear a lie? im typing with two hands wanna hear a another? my hand isnt on my weiner

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whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

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Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

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a dedicated fat guy joins a kung fu dojo he is asked to dedicate his like to his kung fu the fat man dose not he is already dedicated to being a fat guy

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What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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A blode walks into a bar, She gets her hair dyed brown and is later presumed smarter due to a the genral public being steriotipical.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

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Q:Whats the difference between NBC and the NBA? A: The NBA is the National Basketball Assocation and NBC is The No Body Cares.

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What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

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what is the best invention ever created ? ............ PORN !!!!

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I <3 Hitler

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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