What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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What's green and has wheels? Your mom.

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

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Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

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What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

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Q. What do you call an average middle-aged white man who walks into a bar and asks for a drink? A. Not a very funny joke

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A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

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Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops