What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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b

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whats worse than a leaf in your bed? World hunger, global warming, the economy......

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Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

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went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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Why did the Mexican cut his neighbor's lawn? His neighbor cut his lawn the previous week.

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"You must defeat Shen Long to stand a chance"

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

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Knock Knock No solicitors

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Why did Jimmy go to a Barbershop for the first time? He needed a haircut, and the salon next to his house was closed because of financial problems

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What makes my fourth grade librarian hot? The fact that I set her on fire

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A Chinese, American, and German were all on the a boat sinking off the Border of the U.S. So the American called the U.S Coast Guard and they were rescued and taken to a nearby hospital. Two of the three members are still alive today and haunted by the memory of that day.

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8================D-------- (.Y.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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