How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? That's the joke.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

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I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

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what is a mix of a bull dog and a shih tzu. a bread of dog that has a shaggy face and long hair

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There were three men in a race: Crap, Manners, and Shut Up. During the race, Crap fell and Manners stopped to pick him up, Shut Up kept on speeding. The police stopped him. Here is there converstation: Police 1: Whats your name? Shut Up: Shut Up Police 2: Wheres your manners? Shut Up: Back there picking up crap.

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What do you call the Flintstones if they were black? N****rs

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

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civil rights

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Matt is a Duster!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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