Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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What's big and purple? Barney

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What happens if George Washington is still alive? World population increases by 1

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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Nerve endings. Now, lets say we make that sensation of a finger down there vibrate, as your nose (not not your lower parts no no) become twenty times as sensitive, now you are just rubbing your nose right? Try not rubbing it completely off now...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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Niggas be like you ugly and you playing hard to get, yo ass already hard to want!

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Q:what's faster than a black man with you t.v A:his brother with your laptop

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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A man says to his doctor, "doctor, doctor, I think I have a split personality." The doctor responds, "That makes 4 of us."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't know how to rhyme Refrigerator ------------

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Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

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What dod the boy with no arms get or christmas? Nothing he can't open them!

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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Why did the kid drop his ice-cream? Because he tripped on a dead guy!

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What do you call a man who kills others for his own amusement? A psychologist

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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