Christ is a conspiracy

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A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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flashback 2010 bears vs. packers vs. bears- why did'nt the packers want to go to soldier field? because they didnt want to pass another 6 flags!

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Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Someone keeps shitting in my garden

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A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

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Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

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A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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So this chat, the talk on the phone was all a ruse?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because its rayseans favorite number

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Q.How do you kill a Zombie? A. You can't Zombies are fictional monsters that do not exist in our reality. instead why not focus on killing other things such as, Terrorists, Ants and People who piss you off

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How do you make a little girl cry?

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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