Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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quantum physics?

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Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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