How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you through them.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your mother is so fat, she struggles to control her weight even with dieting. Obesity and heart disease runs is in her mother's side of the family; she and everyone close to her is very concerned.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? Nothing at all, except the WNBA is professional basketball players of the female sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Two icebears are siiting on a iceberg one says to the other: Are you fine with me pushing you off? the other one responds: Would you marry me?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a man with no legs, arms, or a head? A torso.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What did little Timmy get from his mother this Christmas? A: The contents of her will.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's sad about a mexican man dying in a car crash? He had a family that loved and cared for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why are all black people fast? They aren't its a stereotype.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats Worse then finding a worm in your apple. Finding a real joke on anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down -24

"I saw daddy with mommy last night. I think he was stealing my milk."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the transvestite say to the hypochondriac? "Ever been to Toledo?"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why wont chin ever take his hat off because his head will be cold

thumb_up thumb_down -26

K O O K A B U R R A . . . . . . . . . . ReTweet

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the girl fall over? She was poisoned for being the fairest one of all.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops