A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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Yo mommas so fat that when people look at her they say things like "shes bigger than me"

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The word "Walter" is never funny.

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How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

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what did the black guy say to the white comedian? haha

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

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What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

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A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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