Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How did the man die? He was killed alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops