Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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No soup for you!

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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Whats worse than anal sex Anal sex with razor blades

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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what does the black man say to the white man? nice weather were having huh.

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A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Two Muslim men board an American Airlines jet. Nobody feels threatened and engage in friendly conversations with the passengers. The aircraft explodes due to poorly manufactured engine parts made by small starving children.

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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