What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

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Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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Why does austin bell like it up the butt? Cause he's a cat a kitty cat meow meow meow and meow meow meow

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Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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What did the big pickle say to the little pickle? "I'm black."

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this duck and it makes me wana quack like what the f**k is THAT!

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

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A blonde walks into a bar. She got free drinks.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops