What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

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why did the blue berry cross the road

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

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Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What's long hard and black A drain pipe

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour hot soup on his head.

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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