Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

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asdasdasdasd

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar... However, it's really busy, so they leave and go to a different bar.

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Here's a joke The Holocaust.

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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