A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

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A Mexican, German, and a black man walk into a bar... They promptly exit due to the access amount of tobacco fumes in the air.

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

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What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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Half koala, half walrus, behold...the Koalrus!

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knock knock. whos there? the police. we have news about your daughter. She has been tortured and raped and you will never see her again for the man that took her has taken her out of our jurisdiction.

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Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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Why did the boy trip over the garden gnome? He didn't trip. He died of a burst artery.

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My arms get tired from carrying my big diick everywhere, well at least it's better than dragging it

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Brenda said she found a pill to stop the effects of aging! It was a cyanide pill, Brenda is dead.

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Q: What does one man with alzheimer's say to the other man with alzheimer's. A: Purple, because magic doesn't go through chickens.

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Why did the woman drown in the bathtub? Her husband was holding her under.

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how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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Your mommas so fat she jumped into the ocean and immediately had to start swimming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops