So this man is walking down the street. Just walking. Nothing wrong. Suddenly a giant whirlpool appears in the street. The man is sucked in and the whirlpool disappears. Everything's fine right? Right? Yeah, he wanted to die. So every things okay? NOPE. He left the oven on.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

I guess calling you dear was a bit overboard for you huh? Well, just promise me you will get whatever help you need if you get ill.

How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

Why did the black man get a welfare check? Because he was either unemployed and decided he wanted someone to keep feeding his family, or decided to push forth the unfortunate stereotype of African-Americans not wanting to work and being lazy. Or maybe he didn't, why don't you ask him?

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

What's the difference between a ferrari and a penis? I don't have a stash of ferraris in my garage.

What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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