How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

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Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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Your momma is so fat, when she bent down to get a peice of wood, she fell down the steps.

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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Two peanuts were crossing a road. One was salted.

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You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

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When does Adolf Hitler get horny? When his hormones start at it when looking at women.

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What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Why do black guys have big dicks? God felt bad putting pubes on their head

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How many TV shows are there? A lot.

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What did the panda say to the other panda? We are fuzzy Oreos

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Yo momma so fat she weighs 400 pounds.

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Hey! I just met you. And this may seem crazy. So here's my number: Now Get in the van.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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