Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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What do a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common? They are both hardworking members of the community!

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff. What's green and fluffy? Green fluff. What's red and fluffy? A kitten that got hit by a truck.

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

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yo mama is so old, so old that she was given senior citizen discount at the restaurant.

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What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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Why was the Mexican lucky to have a job? Due to the failing economy, lack of available jobs, and amount of people getting laid off, it was considered lucky to have a job.

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this duck and it makes me wana quack like what the f**k is THAT!

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You know you have no friends when you steal someone's ALIAS concept and disrespect what is perhaps the most intellectually satisfying form of humour. [L]

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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yo momma is soo stupid when anyone says anything she say i don't understand .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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