why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

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Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

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What did the arsonist shout out in the movie theater? Nothing. He set the exits ablaze and said absolutely nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

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What do you call two dog? dogs

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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So a guy walks in to a bar.... and orders a beer.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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What do you call a poor man on the side of the rode asking for money? A poor man on the side of the rode asking for money.

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Women's rights

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What happened when the white man went to Nigiria? He turned gray.

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So a Mexican a Jew and a Philippino walk across the street What Happened? the border patrol shot them

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops