Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not finding a worm in your apple, i quite like them actualy

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere. - Blake Woodman

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops