What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the African-American toddler from Compton get for his birthday? Most likely nothing, seeing as his father left his mother briefly after his birth, and his mother uses all of her money to feed her heroin addiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

like this or you will die at some point in your life

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

no.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why? Why not?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there happened to be road in the vicinity of the fowl and the odds of the bird crossing it is very high.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Whats the most impotent thing to remember when your going skateboarding? A skateboard.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

roses are blue violetrs are green im shooting heroine into my head

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the dead man say to his best friend? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops