whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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What's the difference between Batman and a black guy? One is a guy that dresses up like a bat and fights crime and the other is just a mild-mannered person.

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

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How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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What happens when Terran Hansen has sex with a cow? Jesse Z.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man in a gorilla suit with a banana.

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wut du u cull a niggre whos wyte nut a niggre

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What did the African-American toddler from Compton get for his birthday? Most likely nothing, seeing as his father left his mother briefly after his birth, and his mother uses all of her money to feed her heroin addiction.

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops