What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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Q: what did the old man do to the little boy in his dark cellar while babysitting on a stormy night? A: told him to hold a flashlight because the power went out and he needed to find his electric generator.

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What sport was the man with one leg excelling in? Ass kicking.

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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Why did Elsa go into hiding. She died

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A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

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What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after his operation.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops