What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

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What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

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A black guy, a white guy, and a Canadian walk into a bar what do they all have in common. They are all involved in my Joke.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

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Why was the boy so tired? He had to carry his moms dead body up the stairs.

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what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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If gluttony is a serious sin, why are so many Christians fat? Because they have bad eating habits.

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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how do you complete an exam. dont be kaizen.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops