Anti - Jokes. com

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

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your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future.

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What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

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Why can't John hear what Muhammad says? John is deaf.

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What did Dmitri say to all his friends? Nothing he has no friends

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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How did the man eat 100 mints in one bite? I'm not sure myself, but we can agree on one thing, his breath is gonna fresh.

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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why does andy speak when not spoken too because he wants a smack

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

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Children and bretheren, stinky cheese Stinkyy cheeeese. Like this or you will smell stinky cheese in your bedroom

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Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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