How does Batman's mom call him home for supper? Nothing. Batman's mom is dead.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

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Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Yo' mama's so black the dark couldn't even see her.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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How did Mary fall off the swing? She got hit by a fridge.

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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Men's rights

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your mama so old, shes dead.

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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Two Iranian men walk into a bar and order a Coke and a Lemonade. The Barman said take a seat and he'll bring them over.

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

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Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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All the planets are named after gods Ours is named after dirt....

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A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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