One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your mums a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You sick fiend

thumb_up thumb_down +17

an american walks out of a strip club.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock. Its open.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't the man walk done the stairs? Because he had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops