Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did you cross the road. You didn't your looking at this joke

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So this guy filled with blood, right? This caused his veins to protrude and him to bleed strongly when he cut his wrists with razors later that night- because of his struggle with depression and substance abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

thumb_up thumb_down +7

teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops