A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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justin beiber sucks

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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A man drove up to a drive-thru. He ordered a coke, but the lady at the window spilled it on his lap. He promptly changed his clothes and accepted the lady's apology.

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Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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