A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Q: How many Jews are there in Germany? A: None, they all died in the holocaust

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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