What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

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Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled "HEY, KOOL-AID!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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baby on board sign?? target aquired.............

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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What did the old lady call the black pilot who's name was Marcus? Marcus

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A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25

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What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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