Q: What's green and goes round and round and round? A: A baby on a blender

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What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

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The Chinese government. The way they treat their citizens just isn't funny.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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Roses are black, violets are black. I'm Hellen Keller.

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Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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A muslim in Iraq was sniped in the head by US forces. He was a terrorist, who killed 18 innocent people.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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Jimmy Saville

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What did the woman get for her 18th birthday? Stabbed to death.

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What do you call a squirrel in my yard? Dead.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

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What do you call a black person who can't see? Blind

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Your mother is so nice, I saw her while grocery shopping and we pleasantly chatted. She also remembered my name and invited me to come over sometime and have a snack.

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how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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True fact: every rabbit lives their whole cute life.

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One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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