Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

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What did the sign say? It said slow down

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

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Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

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Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Parkinson's dl;ghd;jgfldsj;foshdgoljdlkfnjslpaoijejknjvnoidnmaokepinjndonfvio

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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My grandfather died in a Nazi Death Camp. He fell off a watch tower.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea but I don't see why it would want to cross a road in the first place. It is a chicken.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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