Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

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What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

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A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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