The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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A man walks into a bar. There is no one there.

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

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Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? Thousands of years of different evolutionary tracks resulting from different climates and available food sources.

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roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

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Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

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What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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