Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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What did the rat say to the dog? Nothing, he is a rat and therefore incapable of speech.

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Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

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What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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What's the coolest place to be in the solar system? Uranus.

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Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

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Why did the chicken get taken into the kitchen? If u dont get this you need to go b ack to school

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Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

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What do you call a black man fishing. ... a fisherman racist.

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What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

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rose's are red violets are blue I have touretts blblblblblblblblbbl

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops