- Anti Joke

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

Studies prove that bald people have no hair?.

I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

Knock,Knock Who's there? Afro Circus Ya get the fuk off my property!

whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

What happend to the chicken that crossed the road? He got hit by a truck.

a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

I saw a dog pick up a dead bird with its mouth. Crazy cause the bird had ants and maggots all over it, it smelled bad. Well anyways the dog drops it, and he stares at it for a few seconds. Then another dog comes and tilts his head. I'm guessing he's confused and is like "why did you pick that gross thing up? " So they both leave the bird there, in the first dog's owner's backyard. (He was on the cemented porch, not the grass. Just so you can picture it better) Okay well the two dogs go to the park, hoping to get some action with other dogs. Yeah, they were out of luck. There was no one there cause it was Christmas Eve. Who goes to the park on Christmas Eve? Do you? I know I don't. So the two dogs walk out of the park, heads down because well they're sad. On their way out, they see a dog with a bird in its mouth. They keep going because the dog was ugly, heading to the neighborhood going to the first dog's owner's backyard. They take a sip of water from the stainless steel bowl, munch out on some dog food. The dog food was from a 50 pound bag of dog food, it had all the nutrients and vitamins and minerals dogs need to be healthy. Oh and the brand was Iams. Pedigree is for owners that obviously don't care for their dogs cause Pedigree sucks. The owner of the first dog bought the food at the nearest PETCO for around 30$ That's crazy. 30$ for dog food. That's a good owner spending good money on his dog. I would do the same. So when the dogs were done eating, the first dog looks for the dead bird. (The bird the first dog had picked up at the beginning of the story) Turns out the bird is missing. Where could it have gone? The two dogs look everywhere. Then after 20 minutes the second dog says "Hey! We're being clumsy. The third dog had a bird exactly like yours! " So they run to the park hoping they'll find the third dog. He wasn't in anyone's sight until suddenly a familiar voice coming from behind says "Looking for this, Bimbos? What fool would leave such a delicious bird like this in their owner's backyard? " The first dog says "Hey! Give me back my bird! " The third dog refuses. So they begin to fight. Then the second dog snatches the bird And runs away with the bird. The two fighting dogs are still fighting till they notice the horrible stench is gone. The second dog isn't anywhere in sight. That shit cray.

What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

I ran out of anti-jokes. However, here's a cool math puzzle. 492 357 816 Using every number from 1-9, each row added up equals to 15, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. Here's another cool word play TEA URN BAY Words horizontally are Tea, Urn, Bay Words vertically are Tub, Era, Any Words diagonally are Try, Bra

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

why was the asian women such a bad driver? she was blind and had no arms

What is the difference between a car accident and being on your period? A period is less bloody.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. YO YO YO I F U C K YOU ALL!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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