what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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What did the tractor say to the farmer? Nothing, tractors don't talk

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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Why did the black cop pull the white guy over? He was going approximately 52 miles per hour on a 40 miles per hour speed limited road.

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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school homewrok

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What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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