whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse answers, "Because I'm an alcoholic."

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Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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Knock Knock Whose there? Ben Dover Come in

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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A man once went duck pin bowling, 5 years later he died of leukemia.

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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