What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why are black people so fast? They probably practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why did the chicken cross the road? An even better question is why are the chicken morals being questioned every time it feels like doing something.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Q: How do you confuse a blonde. A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in the corner. Q: How does a blonde confuse you? A: She says she's done.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Have you seen the clown hiding from gay people at walmart?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows, he was a chicken, and was not capable of human speech, so he never told anyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops