Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

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Hats better than a stick? A stone

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

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Knock knock Who's there? The bank. We've come to evict you from your house.

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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Mario walks into a bar A yak walks into a bar An orange walks into a bar 30 men barf in a juicy yot

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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