Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's in a glass and drinky? A drink

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: are you gay? A: maybe

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your Mamma So Fat The Old Thing That Block's Her From Destroying Kid's Party's Is The Front Door

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did Heinrich Himmler say to the chicken? I'll take that liver thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill jail brake

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did a boy get slapped in the hand? A; because he had it in the persons face

thumb_up thumb_down -12

once i was a dog and u were a flower........... i raised my leg and gave u a shower :)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at rhyming...... TITS

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops