Why is josh such a retard Because when he was born a brick fell on his head.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What did the black guy get from his white girlfriend for valentines day? An HIV positive test result.

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My brother found a worm in his apple. I dared him to eat it, so he did. When he tried to swallow, the mashed up worm congealed in his throat, killing him. Later, I found out that the worm had poisonous rectum fluids. I was given the Nobel Peace prize.

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What did the camel say to the polar bear at the bar? "Uuuhhrrhrhhh"

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While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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2 gay guys walk into the bar guy #1 say lets get drunk guy #2 says lets get wasted then #1 says... what do they do fall on the floor and do it.

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What did the black man do when his car was rear-ended? He exchanged insurance information with the other driver.

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How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

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Yo mama is so hairy! Then only language she speaks is Chinese

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Why did a 36 year old Asian man stop in the middle of raping someone A: He realized that what he was doing was immoral and that it could scar someone for the rest of there lives and that he could serve a sentence of up to 35 years which would mean he would miss out on the special offers that QVC has to offer during this time

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roses are gay s is justin beber s are u justen beber eats crap

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whats up with that? i'm from jersy

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I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

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Q:why was steve sad? A:he had an extra penis

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

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i googled who gives a fuck my name wasn't in the results

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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