There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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#So tell me what you want, what you really really want, so tell me what you want, what you really really want.# OhOk then. I'll take that photo of your mother.

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

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Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

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Want to hear a joke? I hope not because I don't know any.

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Knock knock Who's there? Guess who. You have 4 options: A. Jeremy Stevens B. Donald Jefferson C. Richard Gillespie D. Paul Faggot Um A? Nope, the correct answer is D. Paul Faggot Oh hi Paul, come in.

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A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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How do you fit 100 dead babies into a box? Put them into a blender.

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Wait! hundred billions!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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A jew goes into a church. Yolo.

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A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car, who's driving? Their father Micheal, he adopted both of them from a mentally handicapped orphanage when they were five.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jeffery Dahmer. Oh, good, you're finally here!

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Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

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The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

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Black Ops? That sounds illegal. Anyway, what do you mean you are a employee only? I mean if you where a fed, you would either be on the top, or be an employee no?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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