God made Coke God made Pepsi God made me, Oh so sexy

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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eat a hot dog

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Whats the differnce betwwen a Wheelbarrow and a sack of dead babies The wheelbarrow is not in my garage

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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2 men were in a bar, One was talking to the other, "I was walking down the street someone fell." "ha" "isis it true?" "What" "isis" and a bomb went off and they all died

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops