This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was content where he was.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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Why is this joke funny It isn't

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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Why did the girl fall of her bike? Because she got hit by a fridge!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Harry Styles! - Louis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He believed pedestrians had the right

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What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!!! lolooloL!OL!olO!LO!Lo!l!LO!L!O11P!lOL!oO!l

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Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

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girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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