What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite website? Wikipedia. It's very informative. On second thought though, the Internet had not been invented yet back in his time.

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My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because early that morning she had found out that her husband had left her for another chicken. She became depressed and soon was suicidal so she started looking for an option out of her pain. So she tried to cross the road... She never made it.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He had no legs

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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