The rabbit owns a small business and has trouble getting a loan.

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face.

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How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

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What's a boulder's favorite type of music? Boulders don't have ears.

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hiya

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What did the Republican say after he got off the ferris wheel but before he went on the roller coaster? "Boy, that ferris wheel sure was fun! Now I will ride the roller coaster!"

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What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

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whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

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Whats a frogs favorite year? 2009!

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

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You should read the Terms of Service.

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I have cancer. And you're next.

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:y do people talk? ;idk :oh then nevermind

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

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Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Did you hear the one about the Mexican that went to college? All his life, Juan wanted to get a decent education, but was unable to due to his family's low income. So Juan worked hard all his life, and got a part-time job. He made a little cash here, a little there. He also studied vigorously, getting a 33 on his ACT. All that work eventually paid off, and Juan was eventually accepted at Princeton University. Juan is now a highly paid Neurological surgeon, and has saved countless lives

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Things i love to hate: Conspiracy theorists Religious fundamentalists Hypocritical people Sally (she has no arms) People selling pyramid schemes Liars, con-artists, thieves. Rapists, child molesters, serial killers Terrorists, politicians, and keyboard warriors That is all.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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