There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

Your're racist.

To mama so old, she might die soon.

"Tell me a joke" Tom says Your life.

Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

What do you call a terrible Therapist that shoots coke up his nose? Sickman, Sickman Fraud.

How many black people does it take to screw In a lightbulb.....I can't see them.

What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

Do you still got what it needs to become a better leader than me Nero?

Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

What do you call a black man? A normal human being

Kidding, not trucing, Dylan sucks prick. Brock likes his mums butt.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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