Roses are red violets are blue, I more do like pink like the holes are in you.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did hitler cause the holocaust? YOLO

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the worm say to the butterfly? Nothing, worms don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you say to seduce a woman? Is that a mustache? WTF!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse then mud on your shoes. Being assassinated by means of a dart to the throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the dead guy say to the other guy? "You murdered me." How did he hear the dead guy? He was dead too.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man in an airport asked me if i wanted my bag to be carry-on. So i said yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: The president is driving down the road, when the wheels of his boat fall off. How many ping pong balls does it take to fill the Empire State Building? A: False. Vests don't have sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two people walk into Israel. The first is shot on the spot. The second screams "I only have two pennies in my pocket!" Immediately he is raped by five Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the blonde waitress say to the man with a curly moustache? Good evening, are you ready to order?; yes [x2]; and what would you like with it?; certanly; there you go; no, I'm sorry; right.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did timmy die he was shot in the head by terrorists

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops