What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

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Shltskc gw? G

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

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star wars kid

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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