A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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what did the girl say after she got hit by a bus, nothing she was dead

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

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Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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A house comes around the corner.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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What's black and hanging from the tree in my backyard? My black, tree-hugging friend.

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why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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