so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

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Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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How do you get a one-armed kid down from a tree? Wave.

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How did the polar bear get the bottle of coke? He killed the little boy

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? several.

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A man walks in the a bar Now he has 3 missing teeth

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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Then none of us want to be right.

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A. Knock Knock B. There is noone home so the individual goes home

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I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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Why was the man lying on the pavement? He was hit by a fridge

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

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Why was the homeless man begging for money? Because he needed money to buy liquer for his severe alcohol addiction that was slowly destroying his liver.

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Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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I am a mime

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A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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