What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

What do we call Osama? Osama

Guy: I have a penis growing out of my crotch. Girl: Hah, sucks to be you! Guy: Yeah.

What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

Q: Why did the Creeper explode? A: Cause you invaded and took his land that was rightfully his. He's not the monster, You are!

Why didn't the disabled kid cross the road? He didn't make it.

How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

What do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? A surgeon.

Whats gayer then dancing with the stars? Justin beiber

Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

whats worse than the Holocaust....6 million Jews

OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. Any more than that and they would just be getting in each others way.

My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

Why does Michael J Fox have such good handwriting? Through years of hardwork, perseverance, and rehabilitation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...