A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call a man who only eats fast food? Unhealthy.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

thumb_up thumb_down -30

whats funny about about adailia rose?nothing shes just fucked up in every way shape and form. but 100% defenatly stick my cock in her shitter

thumb_up thumb_down -30

3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

why did bob marley die because he did also he smoked weed he was naughty!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock Knock Who's there? Hello there. I am Elder Young and I with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What would you say if someone were to offer you peace and happiness through all of eternity?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock Knock whos there? a black man ohh ok come in

thumb_up thumb_down -30

yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A guy walks into a bar and finds a genie. The genie says he'll grant him 3 wishes. He wished for a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. POOF! All 3 wishes were granted to him. The blonde drinks a shot a tequila, the brunette drinks a beer, and the redhead drinks a whiskey. They had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

knock knock Who's there? Will Nealis Will Nealis who? Will nealis continuously finds himself crying himself to sleep as reality begins to smack himn in the face revealing to him that nobody has, does, or ever will like him. He is also informed that the reason his parents left him is because he is such a flaming ginger, his nasty face ruins the atmosphere of any room he walks in to. he has been adopted by a lovely gay couple and he takes after both of his fathers very much, in the aspect of enjoying massive animal c o c k in his mouth as well as having threesomes with his dads. will goes to school everyday and is tormented for being homosexual, so when he goes home hie parents beat him....off and have lemon partys with wills grandpa as he watches and masturbates vigourously.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops