Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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Your adopted

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

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How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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