Why didn't the blonde finish her book? She died.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

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A man looks at a glass and says that it is half full. Another man looks at the glass and says that it is half empty. A feminist looked at the glass and said it was being raped

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

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How did the two friends cross the busy road? They couldn't, because that would be considered jay-walking

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

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yo mammas so fat when she runs the world spins faster

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Face down, ass up. Thats the way I like to sleep

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being black

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Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

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What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

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whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

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Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

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Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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A Palestinian woman walks into a library. She is promptly stoned to death.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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